The Lawyer's Valentine

THE LAWYER'S VALENTINE

I 'M notified, fair neighbor mine,
By one of our profession,
That this - the Term of Valentine -
Is Cupid's Special Session.

Permit me therefore to report
Myself on this occasion,
Quite ready to proceed to Court,
And File my Declaration.

I've an Attachment for you, too;
A legal and a strong one;
O, yield unto the Process, do;
Nor let it be a long one!

No scowling bailiff lurks behind;
He 'd be a precious noddy,
Who, failing to Arrest the mind,
Should go and take the Body!

For though a form like yours might throw
A sculptor in distraction;
I could n t serve a Capias - no -
I 'd scorn so base an Action!

O do not tell me of your youth,
And turn away demurely;
For though you 're very young, in truth,
You 're not an Infant, surely!

The Case is everything to me;
My heart is love's own tissue;
Don't plead a Dilatory Plea;
Let 's have the General Issue!

Or, - since you 've really no defence,
Why not, this present Session,
Omitting all absurd pretence,
Give judgment by Confession?

So shall you be my loving wife
And I - your faithful lover
Be Tenant of your heart for Life,
With no Remainder over.

John Godfrey Saxe.